This month has truly been a rollercoaster. I found out on February 15 that I was going to have a baby. I called my sister, Becca, on the 17th to tell her and she shared with me that she was too! On February 20th, we attended Becky's wedding. She is my step-sister although I consider her my sister.
On February 23, I had a miscarriage. I still cannot not speak about it without crying. I am amazed that I am able to write about it today with dry eyes. It has been difficult, but I think I am through the worst of the storm.
I am so thrilled that Becca is going to have her first baby, but I know there will be moments that will be bittersweet for me. Our due dates were just a few days apart. I am trying really hard not to rain on her parade, but it is not easy to be happy and deal with the grief at the same time.
I love you, Becca and I hope you understand. I want to share in this adventure with you. It is just harder than I thought it would be to set my feelings aside. Please keep sharing with me.
I understand this completely because I have told friends of mine that I never knew you could be so happy and so sad at the same moment. I am so happy for Becca, and so sad for you. I am sure we will both never forget the little one you lost, but we will both be forever happy for Becca. It's the way life is. I love you, girl, and always will.
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